My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
— Montaigne
When one of my sons was a little boy, he got a big sliver in his foot. It really hurt. He couldn’t walk and even sitting still it caused him pain. I told him I could get the sliver out, but when he saw the tweezers and pin I would need to use he freaked out.
He was certain that having the sliver removed would be more painful than leaving it in.
I talked to him and tried to assure him that it would not hurt that bad and would only take a second, but he would hear none of it. He sat there in pain, suffering while I tried to convince him to let me help him. This went on for almost two hours.
Eventually, the pain was too much and he agreed to let me remove the sliver. In literally less than 30 seconds the sliver was out and the pain was gone.
While it is easy to see this and chalk it up to the fears of a young child, even as adults we do this to ourselves all the time. And we often do it for reasons far more imagined than a sliver.
We worry. We ruminate. We ponder on the worst case scenario or assume bad intent in the actions of others. We spend all this time suffering for future events that usually never materialize and this causes us seemingly endless amounts of suffering.
We pay the fine and carry the burden for imagined futures that rarely become reality.
It is good to be aware that difficulties may arise in life. It is good to have a plan for how we will handle challenges when they appear. But we must be cautious to not let those concerns overwhelm us or consume all our energy.
Let us not suffer needlessly for futures that most likely will never happen. It is just as important to make plans to enjoy the joys the future may bring as it is to anticipate the challenges we may encounter. As we do this in balance we can save ourselves from needless suffering and truly find you in the here and now.
Don’t let imagined slivers rob you of the joy you can find all around you.
What worries are robbing you of joy? How would you feel if the thing you are worried about went very well? How can you focus on the ways things might go well instead of how they might go poorly?